The Royal Family holds a special place in the hearts of all Phaic Tanese people and any sign of disrespect towards them will be viewed unfavourably. This fact was brought home just a few years back when a foreign visitor who made anti-royal remarks was asked to step off a Phaic Tanese Airways plane, despite the fact it was at 33,000 feet above the Andaman Sea.

HEIRS TO THE THRONE Crown Prince Ferduk is the King’s eldest son and therefore next in line to the throne. The Prince is a keen sportsman who actually won an athletics gold medal in the 100m sprint event, despite being well back in the field, at the recent Asia-Pacific Games when the other competitors were all arrested without warrant. Intelligent and well educated, Prince Feruk spent several years in the USA at Harvard University, where he failed to gain a degree but did gain quite a reputation as a ‘pants man’.

Next in line to the throne is Princess Buk Phang who, despite years of orthodontic treatment and extensive cosmetic surgery, still shares her mother’s striking looks. Known as ‘the People’s Princess’, she is rarely seen in public.

The youngest member of the Royal Family is Prince Luat (‘Luat the Brooding’) who, unfortunately, made headlines a few years ago when he walked into the palace during a state function armed with a semi automatic pistol and opened fire. Mercifully, due to Luat’s extreme short-sightedness he failed to hit a single family member; however, the Royal Dog sustained serious leg wounds and had to be eaten. Shortly after, Prince Luat was committed to Phaic Tan’s newest psychiatric hospital, named in his honour.

Kitchen hands at the Royal Palace individually search fortune cookies for any messages that may be deemed critical of the King or his familty.